A Beginning and Separated Ends

They met back when things were pure and innocent. Beginning always feels so hopeful, we feel powerful. They had no scar, knew no pain. The walls protected them. There was no need to fight.

But it was the start of a journey. As nothing would stay the same forever, peace were no immortal, hiding and running away no more.

They aimed for a destination far, far away from home. They dreamed of the real world, of a path to be made and walked through. Everything was about to become clearer. Walls and curtains were to be erased. They knew it was time to step outside, to collect truths and revelations. Colours were to be sprayed on the vase, lines were to be curved.

They fought, they struggled, and got separated. But the fight didn’t end. It would never end.

Years later, they were reunited. Fate had shaped them, built them into nothing that they were. And then they sat together, letting each other know about what went on along the journey of their lives.

“I was kicked out. I had no money… at least not enough to pay the rent. So they kicked me out,” the first person started. He had problems, financial problems. And he still did. Well that probably would never be solved. But now that he sat there with the ones whom he was closest to, he felt a relieve.

“They treated me like a slave. They hit me, yell at me, and throw more and more fire into the pit. I got more bruises each day and my nose wouldn’t stop bleeding. And yet, they call themselves my parents,” the second person told his friends. He felt alone along his journey. His parents were his enemies, and the world is a hell he was living in. But he had embraced the pain, pushed aside his sadness, and put on a mask. No one could ever see him being weak.

“They told me who I should be, what I should do, and how I should do things. They kept me safe, but also trapped me, locked me inside a luxurious cage,” the third person shared his story. He was a gold many people were after. They desired him. Everyone wanted to possess him.

“So, how’s world?” the first person asked the fourth person.

“Yes, how is it? You were the one, the only one amongst us, who has actually seen the world,” said the second person.

“The world is beautiful, isn’t it?” asked the third.

The fourth person was silent. His eyes were stone cold, staring at the floor. He was expressionless. Clenched fists, sweat drops… he was anxious.

But then he sighed. “I miss home,” he said. “The world was… fine. But there’s no place like home.

“So many things happened. I changed, you all changed. I miss how things were, in the beginning. I’ve gone too far. I’m not who I thought I was anymore. I feel like a stranger even to myself.” He lifted his head a little bit. The others’ eyes met his. “I’m lost without you guys.”

Now the other three were silent.

“There’s not enough answer,” the fourth continued. “Answers have always been what I kept looking for. I searched everywhere, but kept getting lost. I grew tired of trying. I just want to stay home.”

He wanted to go back, to erase the colours that were already made, to whiten the vase, to build back the walls. “Shame, isn’t it? That what I want right now is a complete impossibility.” He paused for a few seconds, and then, “I have no one else left in my life. I left you guys, and I regret it.”

And then he stood up, his eyes were teary. In weak steps, he approached the first person and touched his left cheek. “Your skin is cold. Very cold. And pale.” He gazed down at the first person’s body. A faint and bitter smile grew on his face. “There’s still some snowflakes left on your clothes. The world is too cold and harsh, isn’t it?”

The second person was sitting right next to the first. Upon noticing his curious movements, the fourth turned to face him. There was a mark on his neck; an apparent red line circling his skin. “I’m sorry I wasn’t there when you needed me. You were my closest,” the fourth said. A drop of tear fell down on his cheek. He sighed while going back to sit on his couch.

“I wasn’t strong enough,” said the second. His eyes were searching for the fourth’s.  But the fourth just couldn’t look at him. He wasn’t strong enough either.

“I know what they had done to you,” the fourth said, directing the sentence to the third. “All those horrible things. All the spoiling, lies, promises…” he closed his eyes. “…hopes.” The sound of wet boots stepping on the floor was clear to the fourth’s ears. He opened his eyes and looked down at the third’s boots. They were wet, and so were his clothes. So was his skin, his hair, his whole body. He was soaked. “You were afraid of water,” the fourth said.

The fourth then picked up his half-filled cup of coffee from the table in front of him and held it in his hands. He got up, slowly. Behind him was a window. Through it now he looked outside in complete silence. Hope was no longer shown on his face. He just stood there, feeling empty.

“But we’re all here now,” the first’s voice cracked the silence. “Together, in this room. All four of us.”

The fourth didn’t respond for a few seconds. But then he looked away from the window. “No, we’re not… together. You guys are just…” he turned around to find a couple of empty sofas. He was alone. “…inside my head.”

The fourth drank his coffee. Everything went silent again, and it was killing him. The room had been empty all along, except for one person; him.

“Everybody needs money.” That was the first person’s voice, just a voice without a body, echoing throughout the whole room.

“And acceptance,” the third’s voice was heard.

“And love,” said the second.

The fourth’s eyes were locked at a point on the floor, emitting nothing but emptiness. His head was filled with floating thoughts, swinging in a calm rhythm. He didn’t even bother to think hard anymore. He then turned around to look through the window. It was a night where the moon was a small, full silver circle on the sky.

“I saw the northern lights with my own eyes,” he said faintly. “It was beautiful. Now all I can see is a dark sky. Even the moon’s light is too weak to awaken lost souls.”

The window was only a little frame of a huge world, the world where tears were shed and cries were heard. The world was a globe of energy, a place we can call home, so close yet so far. We were here, and we were there. We experience discoveries and loss. We lived.

The fourth put down the empty cup on the table and walked into his room. His bed was where he was going to rest. He wished for a good night sleep. He wished for a heavenly dream. He wished the best for his friends, and then closed his eyes.


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