What They Really Are

Note: this is just a fictional short story 😛

Ghosts. Yes, ghosts. If you think ghosts are the souls of the dead that are trying to solve some unfinished business in this world, then you haven’t clearly seen them for what they really are. They don’t look like real people, you know, with complete resemblance of their original physical body, with hands and legs and clothes and everything. They don’t even have any shape. They’re just the exact basic nature of humans that aren’t covered by anything, by physical body or human brain’s thoughts. So that means they don’t even think at all.

So, what do they look like? They look like shadows, or light, whatever you want to call it. They’re not just black or white. Rather, they’re full of colours. Vibrating, dynamic matter whose colours resonate the energy surrounding them. They’re untouchable, obviously. But if a part of their union is disturbed by a living human’s soul, they’d change colour and might be torn apart to later attach themselves on the human’s body, sending some kind of strange feeling that you feel.

That’s what they really are. The figure that you saw as a ghost? Well, they might be real. But if you saw them in the form of a person, it is likely that you saw their disguised form. After all, they reflect your own energy, a living human’s energy. So they have to look like a human.

And they’re not here to solve unfinished problems, for sure.

So here’s a story I would like to tell about my own experience when I discovered what they really look like, or rather, what they really are.

I was such a spoiled little girl. Miss “I want my hair to be blonde, I want to have beautiful blue eyes, I want to have a big and majestic house, I want to be a rich celebrity, I want this world to be mine!”. Well I didn’t exactly say it like that, but those desires showed clearly. I used to brag about my not-too-bad skill in singing and dancing, liking it when I showed it off. I loved it when people praised me, they said that I had a bright future in front of me. My arrogance escalated, and I made fun of those who didn’t seem like they had any particular skill at all. I was too proud of myself.

Until one day I met this one girl who, at first, looked like those unskilled people who went around befriending everyone just to have someone to ask for help when their useless self couldn’t do anything in the face of difficulty. Her name was Lindsey, by the way, and she was my classmate. Physically, she had all the traits I wanted to have for myself; blonde shiny hair, blue eyes, and a slim body. I didn’t admit that she was beautiful, although I did notice that she was. She was a very nice person, so calm yet so cheerful at the same time. She smiled all the time, even when I spat out inappropriate ridicules to her. I didn’t admit this either, but she was really kind as well. My problem with biology, she helped me dozens of time, even though I never said thank you or showed any form of gratitude or kindness as a return.

I was jealous. Really, really jealous of her.

But strangely, she seemed like she always wanted to become my best friend. I used to think that I had a lot of friends. But now I realized that those ‘friends’ I had were just there as my loyal audience, the people who praised me all the time and admired me. Those who criticized me or pointed out my mistakes didn’t belong on my list of friends. At that time, I didn’t know what friendship was really like. So when she tried to help me most of the time, greeted me every morning, and called me to come sit next to her when she was with everybody else, to be honest I felt really weird. Why did she do that? What was her intention? To become my best friend? But why?

However, maybe, deep inside, I wanted her to be my friend, my first real friend.

But my stubbornness continued anyway. I kept avoiding her sweet but emotionally deep approach and even bullied her a couple of times, through my words. I literally tormented her mentally. Although she would never give up trying to melt my heart.

Or that was what I thought.

One day it all changed drastically. After the class ended, I stayed in the room for a while just to sit down and think. I didn’t usually do that, but that day felt a bit strange and I felt like I need to think about something even though I didn’t know what to think about at all.

Suddenly my phone buzzed. I looked it up. A message from Lindsey. Now that I thought about it, I hadn’t seen her this afternoon after the school break. I read the message.

Why won’t you let me be your best friend?

The first word that I said as a reaction to that was, “Wait what?” I mean, why did she say that all of a sudden? What kind of shit was she planning by asking me this? Or maybe that was just a question from her heart, a very genuine question. But why now of all this time? I felt something was going on, something bad.

So I went to the restroom. Why to the restroom? That I still had no idea. But I did anyway.

I turned on the sink faucet and rubbed my hands under the falling water. On the mirror, I was looking at my reflection and trying to search if there was anything wrong on my face. Nope, nothing was wrong, thankfully.

And then my phone buzzed again.

Thank you for everything.

That was when my bad feeling grew stronger. I felt irritated by it, but I still couldn’t ignore it. So I called her. No answer. I shrugged and went out of the bathroom.

The school corridor was empty. I never stayed in school this late, as I often went to hang out with my ‘friends’. But only this time, everything felt different.

I was walking along the corridor when suddenly my heart jumped, I mean not literally. I just felt like it beat much faster and stronger for a few seconds, but went normal afterwards. And then this happened; I saw Lindsey. Right there, in the middle of the corridor, standing still and facing me. She was smiling, just like she always did.

“Why are you standing there alone? School was over, dumbass. Where the hell have you been?” I asked her in a very unfriendly tone.  She didn’t say anything as a reply. I could just come at her and talk to her in a closer distance, but somehow my feet wouldn’t start walking.

“Did you even hear me? Hey, Lindsey! Don’t try to freaking scare me!” I still yelled at her.

I blinked. And that was when I saw it. Something strange. I blinked again. Still didn’t see it clearly. I blinked for the third time. Okay so I decided to close my eyes completely.

“Holy shit.” What I saw when I closed my eyes was clearly something, but it made me shudder. I saw darkness, but in the middle was a light, moving around in one place and never stayed in a solid shape. It was like a human-sized fluorescent, with mixed-colour lights. There were soft yellow, green, a bit of lavender, blue, white, and grey. I was looking at it for a whole five minutes or more, I couldn’t tell.

But when I opened my eyes, I saw nothing. Lindsey was gone. I tried to close my eyes again, but complete darkness was the only thing I could see.

So that was strange. And creepy, I had to admit.

But hold on, something creepier was going to hit me later that night. I got a phone call from one of my classmates saying that Lindsey was found dead in her room, hanging from the ceiling. She had committed suicide. I asked when, and he informed me it was about the time the school was over. I got struck by a heavy feeling. And then I went numb. Painfully numb.

I wanted to see her. I should had told her something to prevent this from happening. I was the only one who caused all of her pain.

I hung up the phone and closed my eyes. But there, the light appeared again. Was it Lindsey? I opened my eyes and saw a figure of her fading away very quickly.

“What do you want?” I closed my eyes, and saw the light changing colour to a darker blue with the grey growing bigger. “Why did you come to me?” The light didn’t change colour that much, but a bit of pink emerged slowly. “Do you want me to say sorry?” A silverfish glow appeared. This was getting more and more creepy. I gave up. “Alright! I’m sorry, okay? Now would you please leave me alone? You’re scaring me!”

But then grey was covering the light entirely, before it disappeared. I opened my eyes and sighed. I realized I didn’t actually feel that sorry for her. It was more of a scared feeling than sorry. Maybe she was hurt and sad. That night I remembered everything about her, the first time we met, her voice, the moments we were together working on school projects, every kindness she had shown me. I felt really bad, but still scared.

I didn’t want her to come to me again for months, so I never saw her even once during that time. Until one day when I had finally made peace to myself and was feeling ready to see her again, to meet some closure. I wanted her to come.

So she came. I didn’t even have to say anything, but I knew she knew I was sorry and that I missed her. I also presented her my feeling that yes, I held dear our friendship, even though I never said that I accepted her as my friend before. But deep inside, she was indeed already my best friend since a long time ago. I just wouldn’t lower down my ego to admit it. In this moment, we just kept exchanging our feelings, without me saying anything. I understood that, real feelings were the only way to communicate with ghosts, for they were not able to think or talk. Human feelings are the energy that drive us.

I was such a terrible person. But Lindsey was there to smoothen the flow of my heart so that I could see everything and everyone around me more clearly.

So, why did Lindsey come to me? She didn’t come to tell me that she still wanted to be my friend. Rather, she came to me because I wanted her to. Ghosts were not able to act their purposes, I wasn’t even sure they had one. But Lindsey did come when I really needed her to, because my energy drew her to me.

So no, don’t talk to ghosts cause that would only make you look like an idiot. They wouldn’t talk back, duh. Maybe if they did talk back to you, then what you’re seeing is not a ghost. Maybe it was something else, something evil that only wanted to play with your mind.

So this was not creepy at all, was it?

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