They don’t understand
And neither do I
Ideal state never lasts
Solutions have been tried

But nothing has changed
I’m tired, they’re tired
Have I lost the game?
Will I know the reason why?

This globe is too big
Heaven will never accept me
Hell is awaiting
Everything feels overwhelming

There are people who still need me
Though I’ve disappointed them too many times
How selfish of me, oh how selfish indeed
People who I’ve hurt and lied to countless times

More time for me maybe?
Or can I cut my thread right now?

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These words mean nothing
Age is just a number
My thoughts are trapped here
I’ll never get any wiser

What’s the point of talking
When those minds are crowded?
Each of us just keeps orbiting
The same hollow madness

In a forest of all green
There live blue red pink
Points are noted in their minds
To be erased in no time

And they hold their heads high
And I hide under my bed at nights
Cause we can never be the same
What I look for was never in this place

Who the hell are you?
Creeping inside my head
Blanketing me with gloom
Dragging me across this mess

And when I sleep
You toss around my memories
To create more fears
Leaving me questioning reality

You’re the voice I hear
When things go south
So I can blame everything
So I can go deeper down

And you like it
Strangely I also like it
You feel like a friend of mine
When I’m clearly losing my mind

Asylum

Cage me
Drag me through that door, lock me up
Chain me
Shove me against the wall, hold your guard up
Skin me
Saw my head open and examine what you find
Boil me
Electrocute me and don’t listen to my lies

Because this is an asylum
And you’re the doctor, aren’t you?
Through these endless deliriums
You just have to fix me, don’t you?

Tell me
Say what’s wrong with me
Now leave
Let me ponder about everything
Why I’m like this
Even though silence won’t help me
Is it what they did?
Is it because of their sins?

Because this is an asylum
Even you can’t find the errors, can you?
Yet I keep looking for a cure
As if I can still be sure

But you’re the doctor, aren’t you?
So tear open my brain and look
Look closely until you find the answer
Before it stops pulsating forever

The clock just stopped
I’ve lived my life
Wrapped in thick walls
I’ve loved my life
Within an imaginary dome
Silver lining in my nights
Never brought back hope

Curving my finger like a hook
Wishing to fish sensations
With bait made of broken goods
Fishing through the glass barrier

I’ve done things and told lies
Just to fill my heart with feelings
Black hole that devoured the light
Hungry for the warm and the burning

My time just stopped
I’ve lived my lies gasping for acceptance
I’ve lived one short life in dependence
I’ve died just to escape rejection